INTIMACY

Hello dearest friends and family! While praying about this blog I really felt like God wanted me to just be completely real with you guys about my personal relationship with Him and I really feel like he wants to speak to a lot of you through what I have been going through. So here goes:


This past month has been a really challenging time for me with God. I can't tell you how many times I found myself so upset and irritated with where I was in my relationship with Him. Normally I would wake up and have about an hour just hanging out with God, whether that's reading my bible listening to worship or just praying. But as the month went on I found myself waking up and choosing to scroll through facebook and instagram instead of waking up and spending quality time with Him. In my journal on November 6th, I wrote:

"Truthfully I haven't been spending much time with You and I can see how that's been effecting me. During worship I was struggling to look to you and not be distracted."

And it wasn't just during worship but throughout the day I would struggle to look to him. I would be half way through my day and completely forget that God has been right next to me this whole day, even when I have been faced with situations that I have no clue how to handle... Something I didn't understand though was this whole time I have been struggling with my time with God I would be forcing myself to spend time with Him because I know that I'm suppose to. But everyone would say you should enjoy your time with God it shouldn't be something that's work. For three weeks I would battle back and forth between 'should I even spend time with God if I'm not even enjoying it?' I would find myself asking questions like, "Is this because of something I'm doing wrong? Where are you? Am I just not hearing you? What am I missing?" Over the course of these weeks people would tell me that Gods trying to teach me how to rest and I would get even more frustrated because I never knew what that looked like and I knew that all I could do was trust in Gods character, that he wouldn't just leave me where I was and that He was actually doing a work in me. 

Fast forward three weeks and in my journal on December 3rd, I said:

"Today I was reading the book Drawing Near and it was talking about how important it is to keep a hunger for God; that when we lose our hunger for God that is when we get bored with our relationship with Him and we're on the verge of spiritual death. I need to be learning how to be patient with God when spending time with Him and not discontent. To make sure that there's nothing going before him including my calling or destiny. And that I'm loving out of Him and not myself, while I'm going through a hard time or waiting" 

I soon realized that I have such a negative mindset over my relationship with God. I have this thinking that I cant hear him and whenever I ask him questions for myself he wont speak. Basically I'm setting myself up to be shunned by God. It's like us going up to our fathers and asking them if they will help us but already having a mindset that they won't so we ask just to walk away before they answer.

Lastly, God has been showing me the importance of being obedient and how when I step out in obedience its the beginning of intimacy. More and more I find myself hearing God asking me to step out in things that seem strange or are uncomfortable but when I do them I see myself becoming closer to God. I see that I'm actually stepping out and spending time with him because my heart just longs to be in his presence! I see the true joy that is sufficient and I see the actual love that God has for me more and more as I stay in this place of trust and hunger. I'm realizing how simple a relationship with God is, it has absolutely nothing to do with how hard I can pray or how holy I can be but all that matters is that I'm obedient to what he speaks and that I stay patient, knowing his character is faithful and good! Each day I struggle with something new, but as it says in Romans 5:2-5

"2 And that's not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand - out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise. 3 There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, 4 and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. 5 In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary - we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!"

My new challenge I'm faced with from God is something I just found out about myself last night, which is how dependent I am on being wanted by others. This isn't just with people but with God too and I see that its a root of a lot of my insecurities and I know that I've been created to not strive for Gods love but to just receive it. I'm continually growing and being molded by God to be who He created me to be and its for sure a journey, but one that I'm glad I don't have to do on my own!

I hope that my message can be encouraging to you wherever you're at in life and know that God is constantly pursuing you no matter how far off you feel you are from Him. He's relentlessly pursuing you. If you want to hear any crazy testimonies of what happened during our Holy Spirit week, message me and I'd love to share with you!

Please be praying for me and my team as we are preparing to leave! Pray that we will get all the finances we need! I personally still need about $2,500 so please pray about supporting me and being a part of my journey!

PEACE, LOVE, AND ANNOINTING!

"M A L I N D A"

OUTREACH
Its so crazy to look back at where I was at before I knew God.. I was planning on doing 2 years of community college and then transferring to a university and graduating with some kind of degree. I just picture God looking down and saying "dude you're crazy if that's all you think I have for you in this life, just wait." So here I am about to lead a team to MALAYSIA and INDONEISA A.K.A MALINDA doing the very thing that brings me the most genuine happiness in the world. Serving the most amazing God who just seeks to pour into me to have it overflow on to others.


While we are there, we'll be on the Island of Borneo the whole 7 weeks and for the first 3 weeks we will be working with the YWAM base out of Pontianak, Indonesia. The first week we will be helping out at an orphanage called "Living Waters" where they have over 450 orphans and they completely trust on God every month to provide the food and finances they need! After that we will be lead by our translator into remote villages for 2 weeks to share the gospel and provide help wherever needed. We then will take a sketchy bus 10 hours to go into Kuching, Malaysia where we will spend the remaining 4 weeks. The first week we will be doing more village ministry and the last 3 weeks we will be in the city of Malaysia doing a lot of church and youth ministry. Along with teaching dance, art, and photography classes! So as you can see we have a crazy packed schedule and that's just an overview of what our time will look like there. Usually some extra things will be thrown in there by our contacts.


We have a team of 9 including me and my co-leader and we have met twice already! In those meetings we have been praying for Malinda and asking God what we should expect and we really feel like God is going to do some CRAZY things through us! God was saying that its so important that we're all looking to Him and not at what other people are doing and that we are moving out of love, not to see miracles. We also feel like He's saying he's going to use us to bring them back to God. So as you can tell we have some big expectations for God to move!


THE SCHOOL
In these past weeks our school has experienced a lot of freedom from our pasts. We had the Father Heart of God lectures with our base leader Dave Neibling and he was talking about the reasons we can't experience Gods love towards us. Even non-Christians know the saying that God loves them but the reason why its so hard for us to experience it is because we have so much wrong with our identity. God never changes, he always wants to shower us with his love and to move in our lives but the thing that does change is how we act day to day. But even more then that a lot of our identity is conformed to what has happened to us in the past. So for me, I realized how manipulative I am to receive peoples love. I'll get people to do what I want so that I know they love me but even after, I don't receive their love because that's not actually who I am. I'll just act a certain way to get what I want. A lot of that comes from our peers. We have to act a certain way to fit in and be a part of a group and if you actually show something that you're passionate about then you will automatically get ripped apart. So instead of having a lot of people being themselves we get people who think they're individuals but actually are conforming in their identity. It's really sad to be honest and that's why people will never truly experience freedom in their lives. For the students and staff these past weeks have been crazy! We're finally getting to a place where we can be ourselves and not experience any judgment but instead be lifted up closer to God.


Also, we're at a place where the honeymoon stage is over. At the beginning its so easy to love God and the people around us because everything's new. But now you start to see the things that piss you off about people and you notice that some days you don't feel like worshiping God or talking to Him. But that doesn't matter because Gods the same as when you felt him in that crazy worship time as when it seems like everyone's out to get you! So it's really cool to see what they will do, if they're going to be "feeling based Christians" or "ALL in Christians". I'll let you know that they choose!


PRAYER POINTS


-That they will choose God everyday!
-That we will be unified as an outreach team as well as a school
-Experience a greater level of freedom
-That we will be completely obedient to God


I appreciate all of your guys support and thank you for reading! Message me if you would like to catch up or have any questions!


PEACE AND LOVE

So It Begins

Just like that the Music, Arts, and Dance school has started and these students are SO hungry for God! Last weekend we had testimony weekend where all 39 of us went north about two hours and shared our lives with complete strangers. What started out as an awkward weekend playing get to know you games and making small talk quickly turned into pouring our hearts out to one another and at the end becoming a close group all seeking the same thing, Gods heart. Seeing this DTS compared to the one I was on a year ago is crazy... I feel like they came in and were just ready to get as much as God possible as fast as possible!

We had our first week of lectures and it was on "The Bible" with one of the elders on base. She went through the whole bible in the first four days and then on the last day she showed us the proper way to study it. Something that stood out to me on the last day that she said was that we don't need to defend the Bible, if we live out what we read then The Bible will speak for itself through us! SO GOOD! Also we had a time to serve locally where we went out to a farm and put up a fence to hold up to 100 horses. So we had quite the first week!

I also had lectures with the leadership course I'm taking (BLS) and we had one of school leaders here on base speak about how to work in unity and God was bringing so much correction but also was pointing out things I do well. After he was done with the lectures I just could feel how bad I needed God in my everyday life.. It was to the point where I had no choice but to go into my room and cry out to God asking for more of him through out the day. He showed me that apart from him anything I do is pointless and you'd think that's depressing but you realize that there is nothing greater on this planet then when God uses you to love.

The amount I've grown since I have been here has been crazy.. God keeps showing me new things to work on spiritually and my classes are giving me things to work on constantly. So as you could imagine time management has been huge so its a trial and error time. 

Lastly, I just want all of you guys to know how much I miss you back home. I'm always thinking about you and how badly I wish I could take you on this adventure! You guys mean so much to me and it seems like not to long ago I was in high school making some of the best memories! I miss and love you all!

Prayer Points:
1. More of a love for the students so I can see them how God does.
2. That my quiet times will be more intimate with Him and understanding what he wants to use me for each day!
3. More unity in the school so we can just be a place for God to move freely!
4. More finances, I'm still in need of a lot of money so just support me in prayer with it please!!

F I R S T || M O N T H

Hello everyone! I just wanted to give you guys a quick update on these past few weeks down unda! The first two weeks we were apart of a Training and Assessment (TAA) doing a lot of the government side of the school and how to create assignments and assess them! And this past week we started the course called the Basic Leadership School (BLS) which we have brought in different speakers to share with us what it looks like to be an effective leader. During these courses we had/have a great amount of assignments to make sure we're competent in becoming leaders. This time has been very stretching in a number of different areas, and I'm really learning what time management looks like. We still have 2 weeks of BLS and then we will be meeting every Tuesday when the school starts.

Since arriving back at Brisbane God has been teaching me a lot of different things. One of the biggest ones is how to rely on him on a daily basis. When coming back I realized how easy it is to depend on God when theres no other option. For example needing a great sum of money and a visa all in 3 weeks. So right away when I got here he showed me that I need to learn how to love more.. And not on my own strength but on his, and in order to do this I have to rely and trust that he's going to love through me.

The other thing that I always heard was that leadership reveals a lot of faults that you have in your character. And that is scary true.. Since being here Gods revealed a lot of things that I have to work on but he's also shown me how much grace he has over me and that he doesn't want me to focus on them but to just look to him and spend time with him!

I've gotten to hang out with my staff team almost everyday this past week and I'm really excited to get to spend these next months together discipling the students! The students will get here October 1st and I also found out that instead of staffing the photography school I'm staffing the music track! Which brings me to my next point, PRAYER REQUESTS:
1. Discernment, it's been difficult to hear God recently and so especially when the students come I will need a lot of discernment!
2. Relationships with the students and staff around base and that we can be unified and move where the spirit leads!
3. And lastly finances! I still need more monthly support, so if you could pray God will call obedient Christians to donate that would be amazing!

I will be giving monthly news letters via email when the school starts and so if you would like to be in the loop then just go a head and shoot me a message and I will put you on the list! I also got a new number since being here which is:
+61 413 219 973
And my email is:
Connor.field@goywam.com

Thank you for your guys's support and I miss you all!

Support Letter!

            As many of you probably know, this past year I had the privilege of being a part of the organization called YWAM (Youth With A Mission). To give a general idea, the school that I was a part of is called “DTS,” which means “Discipleship Training School.” A DTS generally consists of two parts – lecture phase, which is four months, and outreach phase, which is two months. During lecture phase, we all met in a lecture hall and got to learn from various speakers and preachers from all over the world about different topics. For example, we learned about the “father heart of God,” “the character and nature of God,” “hearing God’s voice,” etc. That time was dedicated to building a foundation for us students in order to be able to reach out to other nations on the “outreach phase.” The main motto of YWAM is: “To know God and to then make Him known,” which fully sums up DTS as a whole – putting both lecture and outreach phase together. For my outreach phase, I went to Peru with a team of nine other people. To give a brief overview, we served at an orphanage in the jungle as well as Cusco, did service projects at local churches, and worked with a medical campaign for the local natives. Although outreach was difficult, I grew so much and the Lord taught me what it means to serve with a joyful heart.

            That being said, the staff members on my school were a huge part of my personal growth, which poured out into the ministry that I was a part of during outreach. At the YWAM Brisbane base, staff members are a part of a school as well, which is called “BLS” – Basic Leadership School. The name explains exactly what the school is all about. This is what I feel the Lord is calling me to be a part of this upcoming fall. A BLS has three phases: Phase one is six months of leading a DTS school (lecture and outreach). Next is Phase two, which is a logistical phase that is five months long, where I will serve on base and in the community. Phase three is six months of leading another DTS school (lecture and outreach).

            In order to get there, I need to raise $5,000. On top of that, I am in need of $600 per month – living expenses, school fees, etc. This money will mostly be going towards the outreach phases that I’ll lead. Because I’ll be on a student visa, I can’t work, so I will be relying on donations and fundraising. Above all, I would be so grateful for your prayer support, and if you are able to donate and feel led to, thank you so much! It’s going to be a time of daily relying on the Lord, which I know will be difficult, but so fruitful. Through it all, I’m excited and expectant for how God will use me to show love to others and to continue to grow in faith and love for Him.

If you’d like to donate, follow this link: www.connorfield.weebly.com

OR: mail to 4860 Minnesota Lane North, Plymouth, MN 55446

Also, I will be updating my blog (the above link) to share stories – the results of your donations!

I love you all, thank you for your support!

Connor Field

D E C I S I O N S

This past month I have made the decision to go back to YWAM Brisbane and staff the October Music, Art, Dance and Photography School. In order to do this I will have to return to Australia by August 20th. Now I know a lot of you are probably confused because previously I told people I was planning on going back in January.  Since becoming a Christian I've learned one crucial thing about God, He ruins plans (for the better). And by ruins I mean absolutely destroys them (for the better) and then puts you in a situation where only he can get you through it.

THE ORIGINAL PLAN

This is what I thought was going to happen when I returned home from YWAM in May. I would work at a couple of summer camps, nanny for the same family I have for the past few years; and then come Fall, I would find a job to earn money until my departure in January. At that time, I would have staffed a school called "Beach to Bush", where I would have led a DTS team while backpacking along the east coast of Australia. In addition, I was looking forward to being mentored by a Leader whom I looked up to and know would have furthered my knowledge of what it means to be a man of God. But of course...God ruins plans (for the better).

THE REVELATION

Obviously, the original plan makes the most sense. I would have worked, earned and saved money and taught at the school I wanted to! But as the summer went on I would continually ask God "is this what I'm suppose to do" and I would hear nothing back. So I figured it wasn't the right time. He just wanted me to focus on the summer camp I was staffing. 

As the camp was coming closer to an end I would ask the same question over and over, "Am I suppose to go back in February to staff the Beach to Bush school?" And over and over, I would hear nothing but silence. I was so frustrated from not hearing anything that I didn't want to spend time with God. After about two months of this confusion and frustration I still felt the same way towards God, but something in me knew this attitude and way of thinking would get me absolutely no where. I changed the question and instead of saying "is this what I'm suppose to do" (like Gods a magic eight ball), I simply said "God lead me where I will get to know you most!" Once I asked that, God simply spoke, "October MAD"! My heart dropped! That was in less than one month?! Feeling overwhelmed, I instantly tried to reason my way out. I was thinking there is no way God has called me to something this big. In order to make this work, I would need to raise about $4,000 in 3 weeks and by the end of 18 months, a total of about $16,000. All this without having had time to prepare. So I was sitting there, sick to my stomach thinking; "God how can I do this"? He straight up said, "you can't...but if you trust and believe in Me and take the steps of faith, then you will see the finances come in." At that point I knew God was in control and this was my purpose in life! I was created to take on things that are bigger than I ever thought I could handle so God's character could come to life through me! 

My Advice

If you're bored with your faith, then maybe it's because you are not challenging yourself and asking God what he has called you to do. God isn't telling us what we HAVE to do, but what we SHOULD do because he knows us best! He knows our heart and what we desire. Everything in this world  (money, cars, school, even your job) will eventually pass. We can all agree that we will not live forever and the things that you have now will not last! Don't put all your time on Earth towards stuff you will eventually not care about. I encourage you to put your time into something bigger than yourself, something that will last forever! It won't be easy, but nothing that's easy is ever worth it. I challenge you to take a step of faith towards God and make Him show up! He see's where you are and also knows where you could be! It's you who has to make that decision, and it's worth it! 

Even though it is going to be a challenge to raise the money, I know in my heart I will be going to Australia because this is the path God has chosen for me to make Him most known!

Prayer & Support

Please pray that God reveals more details to me on my upcoming BLS. Also, pray that my relationship with God grows stronger everyday. For the students that I will be leading, pray that their hearts will be open to receiving God's word! 

I honestly can't do any of this without your support! I ask that you pray for me through my journey, and if you are able to donate click on the link located at the bottom of the page. This will take you to my website. 

Please feel free to message me on facebook or email me at Cfield.photography@gmail.com with any questions. I will be gone the week of August 4th at a summer camp in Wisconsin so I may not be able to get back to you until I return.  I love you all and thank you again for all your prayers and support!

My website is:

http://connorfield.weebly.com

Blessings,

Connor Field

God's Right Here

Just like that my adventure to Australia has come to an end.. I can't believe that it has already been 7 month. I already miss my family in Australia but boy does it feel good to be sleeping in my own bed and not having to worry about captive portal every 15 mins... Sooooo you guys are probably wondering what has happened since I've been back home and I would love to tell you!

So I arrived back in Minnesota on May 3rd at about 10 PM and was greeted by my mother and father along with my cousin Charlie which was a great surprise and I had 2 more friends waiting for me back at home along with one of my dads friends. And obviously the questions started coming at me from left and right, but I was excited to tell them about my times and everything I had learned. So after a long discussion with my family and friends it was about 3 AM and I was about to go to bed when it hit me... I realized the very thing I told myself I wouldn't do I did right off the bat. I was preaching... And before I left one of the staff told me to just listen for 2 months and don't say anything, just live out the word. But the first opportunity I had I was preaching till my face turned blue trying to convince them that I'm right instead of showing them. So right then and there I was convicted and told myself I wasn't going to do that again. But obviously its easier said then done... 

A big thing that I would always joke about was that God wasn't outside of YWAM... But as I was boarding the plane to go home I realised that I believed that. I truly didn't know if God was in Minnesota, so I was getting nervous but yet excited. I had to completely trust God for the first time with everything.. With my friends, family, and with myself. So as I'm sitting in the plane Gods just getting me excited and reassuring me that he is there and that big things will happen when I get back. 

Lets fast forward to last night.

So last night one of my good friends invites me to a group meeting that I have never heard of but she said that they are very prophetic and its a great time, so I'm like awesome I'll be there. Then one of my friends who believes in God and grew up in a Catholic church but doesn't know much about The Holy Spirit and what he can do texts me and says hes coming home and wants to hang out tonight and I was like wellll I'm going to this church thing you should come! He texts me back and says I'll be there, but not till a little later. I was like awesome just come. I get there with my friend and I can tell that this is all about The Holy Spirit and that my friend was going to think that I'm crazy... so I'm praying for my friend who is coming that God would just touch him in some way where he would forget all the other stuff he saw! He gets here and right away he gives me a look like what did you get me into.. So after a 3 hour service the preacher starts getting words from God and after Prophesying over a few people he gets to my friend and tells him what his past looked like and where he could be with God if he decided to go after God full heartedly. After the service was over God told me he had a hurt left knee and he did, and after praying his reaction was hilarious because he was completely healed.

Thats just one of a ton of crazy things that have happened to some of my friends and family and I would go into detail but I know you guys would lose interest. So if you want to know the other things that have happened FB message me and I'd love to share them. But the reason I'm sharing this is because God is constantly trying to move through us and with us but nobody is letting him! If you want to experience God you're going to have to step out of your comfort zone and make sacrifices but I'm telling you guys it is so worth it. The amount I have grown in my relationship with God this past year is crazy and I would have never thought I would get to this point, and having a relationship with him out pours to other things that are so important in life! And the main thing I want you guys to understand is that you don't have to go all the way to Australia or Africa or anywhere! Because God is right where you are and he will meet you right where you are! All you have to do is give him the time and be willing for what he has! If you want to take steps to get to know him and don't know how message me and I'll help you! Just take that first step and everything else will follow! 

Doubts

Okay, so I know I have been posting a lot of blogs making it seem like a relationship with God is the easiest thing, and that's not the case at all.. Following God is easily the hardest thing that I have ever had to do.. I'm putting all my trust into something I can't see.. And almost everyone in the world would say that's one of the dumbest things you can do.. And there are times that I completely agree with the world. Some days I just sit and think about all that I'm giving up to follow a God I can't even prove is real but I have to trust my heart and his word... So with that my biggest struggle with God right now is believing he is a good God.. Which is a pretty big thing when you're having faith in a God that proclaims that's what is most important in a relationship with him..

I just can't wrap my head around the fact that a good God would create evil.. Before I thought it was so we could have free will. But when you think about it if we don't choose God then we will end up in hell.. So where's the free will in that? And am I suppose to feel bad that God sent his one and only son to forgive the sin that he created? To me it feels like we're just in this huge game and we're gods little toys.. With that, since we are always praying and waiting on Gods timing then what's the point in praying? If he's going to give it to us when he wants or show us when he wants then why pray..? Why continually beg a good God to do little things that he could do in a heart beat.. Like just heal every single one of my mosquito bites.. It makes absolutely no sense to me.. But I do know that these are things I'll never get to know until I'm in heaven.. And for now it's hard to be okay with it, but what other option do I have? I have lived without Christ and there is nothing worse than that life... It's a life where there is only depression and people looking for love in all the wrong places. This world is filled with people who are looking for only seconds of satisfaction and not thinking of the future, people who can't grasp the idea that it's going to be the same outcome if you make the same actions... I refuse to go back to a place of hopelessness where people have no clue what the true meaning of life or love is..

But as much as I'm struggling to believe that God is good I have faith that he will show me it. Because there is nothing more powerful than personal revelation. So instead of separating myself from God like most Christians do when they see that their relationship with God is hard or that they're not feeling his love, I'm going to pray that he shows me he's a good god. One of the biggest things I've learned since being here is the true meaning of love. We seem to think that love is a feeling but it's not.

It's something that we do.

Loving someone isn't going to be easy and the reason we have so many divorces these days is because the misunderstanding of what love is. So many people can't commit to anything because they aren't getting those feelings they got at the beginning and they didn't realize anything that's worth something you have to work for.. But the reason of this rant is to show you 3 things:

First, a relationship with God is hard just like any relationship, and it takes work.

Second, it's okay to have doubts and to ask questions! That's what we're suppose to do! If you're believing anything a Christian says then I don't know if you have your own relationship with God, and I'm really worried what your world view is like..

Third, understand the real meaning of commitment and love... Please.

Thank you for taking the time to read my rant!

The Heart of Adventure

I want you to ask yourself this question, what is the craziest thing you've done this month? And if you're answer has to do with a party that's not what I meant. I mean with adventure, where you actually went out and did something that made your heart skip a beat! Something where you had no idea what the outcome would be but you did it anyway because you wanted that rush. Even in the last 3 months!

Now, I want you to remember that rush, the feeling you felt!

For me that moment was going swimming with jellyfish that could kill you or make you extremely sick if you got touched by one. Also they were the size of your pinky nail so you couldn't even see them.. I know.. I'm BA.

But what if I told you that that's how we were created and designed! That we have been created for adventure and to go out exploring, not knowing what could come out of it. It says that we have been created in the image of God!

So my question is why aren't we more adventurous? If that feeling of adventure is what makes us happiest then why aren't we seeking it with all our hearts?! So many people just put their life on repeat. They just constantly do the same thing.. Wake up, go to class, work out, do homework and go to bed. (Maybe if you're feeling a little adventurous you'll do homework then work out) just waiting for the weekend where you can do what..? Get wasted make some bad decisions and just laugh it off and go on to the next day? Now I'm not saying school is bad! So don't get all upset about what I'm saying. If you're passion is to learn then who am I to say anything about it, but I am saying that if you're just going to school to get a degree that will make you the most money and get you the hottest wife or husband then you're missing the point of life.. And you're missing it by a mile! God put us on this earth to follow the passions in our heart! And I don't know about you guys but that's what I'm going to do.. I'm going to live out my purpose. And I'm hoping that each of you guys will too.. Even if you don't look to God first I don't care just do something crazy! Just do something that you will say WOW, I can't believe I just did that! And I bet through that you will see God, even if you're not looking. Don't go through life like everyone else just waiting for the next party or test! PLEASE! Life is worth so much more than that! Follow your passion! And when you find it share your passion with someone because that is true happiness and at the end of the day isn't that what we're all seeking?



We're all allowed one inspirational blog right?


Prayer request!

I leave for Peru in 1 week! So we need prayer for safe travels and team unity. Also that we keep our spirits positive and that we stay healthy the whole time. And that the insects and monkeys don't kill us in the jungle.. Thank you guys SO MUCH!


God bless!

HERE WE GO!

Hey everyone! I'm sorry I haven't been blogging as much as I should! But there's always something going on over here.. It's honestly crazy. But this past month has been a good one! My parents came out on December 16th and stayed till December 26th! While they were here we went to the Koala Cove where you get to hold a Koala and feed kangaroos! It was so amazing, but the fun didn't stop there. Then for Christmas we went up to Port Douglas where I got to go through the rainforest up there and saw all kinds of awesome animals! For Christmas we snorkeled the Great Barrier Reef which I guess you could say was a good time! But the best part of everything was by far being able to see my parents again! Even though my sister couldn't make it out and it wasn't the same without her, I still had such a blast with my parents!

So you're probably wondering what I've done that's productive and if you're not wondering I'm still going to tell you! Our outreach team held a fundraiser at our cafe to raise money for all the people who don't have enough money and it was such a success! We saw God show up in the amount we received!

As for my relationship with God.. Currently I'm in a dry spot and don't really know what I'm suppose to do. I haven't heard his voice in a while and it's been really frustrating this past month with just trying to grow closer to him. But through this time I'm really learning to be patient with God, and for those of you who truly know me, I hate waiting for anything.. I know I just have to trust Gods timing because he has the best timing. (Cheesy, but true)

The paragraphs above I typed at the beginning of the week before my Outreach in Airlie Beach and so I'll tell you how that was!

The first few days were the same as before with God where I was annoyed that I wasn't seeing God move in any of the areas I've been praying for, so I wasn't looking forward to the outreach. What we were doing here is for New Years Eve and New Years we set up a Chai Tent where kids from our school would play live music and we handed out free chai and just talk with whoever came in. The first night nothing really happened, except for a few good conversations with backpackers, and so I was getting even more discouraged in my faith and, was just praying out to God to just let me stay focused and give me strength for the rest of the week. The second night I spent pretty much the whole night talking to a guy named Linus, and he was so awesome! I was so amazed at the heart he had towards life and the way he saw it. He asked such good questions and the same kind of questions I had been asking the whole DTS, but instead of not knowing them God was using me to answer all of the questions and it was making so much sense.. The craziest part was that I knew that God spoke through people but I didn't ever think he would use myself to answer my questions. One of the biggest things I had been praying for, is that God would give me a heart for people, and that I could see them how He sees them, and right after our conversation I just got overcame by something and it shot through my whole body and I started crying. It was the weirdest feeling I've ever felt. But all I wanted to do was tell him how much he was loved.

It's crazy how much desire I have for God now and how much I want to get to know him and have a real relationship with him just from that conversation. He's completely changing my life and the way I see it. I know that it's easy to be passionate for God after you see him move so the real challenge will be if I can continue to be passionate for God even though I don't have the feelings!


If you are wondering how you can be praying for me, here are some points:

-to have revelations on revelations on revelations! I learned that you don't truly know that God is a healer unless you've experience it, same for his love and his faithfulness. And so I'm waiting for my own experiences so I can truly mean it when I tell people those things about him!
-our outreach team still needs a good amount of money so if you could pray for that to come in that would be amazing!
-  Unity in our Peru group! We are going to be tested so much while we're gone and we won't be able to have a successful time over there unless we work as a team with God!


And lastly guys, I would like to leave you with this! It's okay to really struggle with your relationship with God.. It's not going to be rainbows and butterflies 24/7.. We get so caught up in worldly things sometimes that it's impossible to always be super on fire for God! But the way you're going to get closer to him is by asking the tough questions.. The questions that nobody can answer except for him! Ask for revelations because when he gives you them then you know that it wasn't coincidence but it was our father in heaven who cares so much for us! And I can promise you there's no greater feeling than being close to the God who created us!
 Keep striving to get closer to Him and if you ever need prayer send it my way! I'd love to help you in your journey with God! I love you all so much who are taking the time to read this.. Seriously it means the world to me and I can't wait to come home and see you all! God bless!