Doubts

Okay, so I know I have been posting a lot of blogs making it seem like a relationship with God is the easiest thing, and that's not the case at all.. Following God is easily the hardest thing that I have ever had to do.. I'm putting all my trust into something I can't see.. And almost everyone in the world would say that's one of the dumbest things you can do.. And there are times that I completely agree with the world. Some days I just sit and think about all that I'm giving up to follow a God I can't even prove is real but I have to trust my heart and his word... So with that my biggest struggle with God right now is believing he is a good God.. Which is a pretty big thing when you're having faith in a God that proclaims that's what is most important in a relationship with him..

I just can't wrap my head around the fact that a good God would create evil.. Before I thought it was so we could have free will. But when you think about it if we don't choose God then we will end up in hell.. So where's the free will in that? And am I suppose to feel bad that God sent his one and only son to forgive the sin that he created? To me it feels like we're just in this huge game and we're gods little toys.. With that, since we are always praying and waiting on Gods timing then what's the point in praying? If he's going to give it to us when he wants or show us when he wants then why pray..? Why continually beg a good God to do little things that he could do in a heart beat.. Like just heal every single one of my mosquito bites.. It makes absolutely no sense to me.. But I do know that these are things I'll never get to know until I'm in heaven.. And for now it's hard to be okay with it, but what other option do I have? I have lived without Christ and there is nothing worse than that life... It's a life where there is only depression and people looking for love in all the wrong places. This world is filled with people who are looking for only seconds of satisfaction and not thinking of the future, people who can't grasp the idea that it's going to be the same outcome if you make the same actions... I refuse to go back to a place of hopelessness where people have no clue what the true meaning of life or love is..

But as much as I'm struggling to believe that God is good I have faith that he will show me it. Because there is nothing more powerful than personal revelation. So instead of separating myself from God like most Christians do when they see that their relationship with God is hard or that they're not feeling his love, I'm going to pray that he shows me he's a good god. One of the biggest things I've learned since being here is the true meaning of love. We seem to think that love is a feeling but it's not.

It's something that we do.

Loving someone isn't going to be easy and the reason we have so many divorces these days is because the misunderstanding of what love is. So many people can't commit to anything because they aren't getting those feelings they got at the beginning and they didn't realize anything that's worth something you have to work for.. But the reason of this rant is to show you 3 things:

First, a relationship with God is hard just like any relationship, and it takes work.

Second, it's okay to have doubts and to ask questions! That's what we're suppose to do! If you're believing anything a Christian says then I don't know if you have your own relationship with God, and I'm really worried what your world view is like..

Third, understand the real meaning of commitment and love... Please.

Thank you for taking the time to read my rant!

The Heart of Adventure

I want you to ask yourself this question, what is the craziest thing you've done this month? And if you're answer has to do with a party that's not what I meant. I mean with adventure, where you actually went out and did something that made your heart skip a beat! Something where you had no idea what the outcome would be but you did it anyway because you wanted that rush. Even in the last 3 months!

Now, I want you to remember that rush, the feeling you felt!

For me that moment was going swimming with jellyfish that could kill you or make you extremely sick if you got touched by one. Also they were the size of your pinky nail so you couldn't even see them.. I know.. I'm BA.

But what if I told you that that's how we were created and designed! That we have been created for adventure and to go out exploring, not knowing what could come out of it. It says that we have been created in the image of God!

So my question is why aren't we more adventurous? If that feeling of adventure is what makes us happiest then why aren't we seeking it with all our hearts?! So many people just put their life on repeat. They just constantly do the same thing.. Wake up, go to class, work out, do homework and go to bed. (Maybe if you're feeling a little adventurous you'll do homework then work out) just waiting for the weekend where you can do what..? Get wasted make some bad decisions and just laugh it off and go on to the next day? Now I'm not saying school is bad! So don't get all upset about what I'm saying. If you're passion is to learn then who am I to say anything about it, but I am saying that if you're just going to school to get a degree that will make you the most money and get you the hottest wife or husband then you're missing the point of life.. And you're missing it by a mile! God put us on this earth to follow the passions in our heart! And I don't know about you guys but that's what I'm going to do.. I'm going to live out my purpose. And I'm hoping that each of you guys will too.. Even if you don't look to God first I don't care just do something crazy! Just do something that you will say WOW, I can't believe I just did that! And I bet through that you will see God, even if you're not looking. Don't go through life like everyone else just waiting for the next party or test! PLEASE! Life is worth so much more than that! Follow your passion! And when you find it share your passion with someone because that is true happiness and at the end of the day isn't that what we're all seeking?



We're all allowed one inspirational blog right?


Prayer request!

I leave for Peru in 1 week! So we need prayer for safe travels and team unity. Also that we keep our spirits positive and that we stay healthy the whole time. And that the insects and monkeys don't kill us in the jungle.. Thank you guys SO MUCH!


God bless!